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The Princess

Agnesdainty
diary




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Monday, November 21, 2005
Time flies.
yet again another semester is over
However, conflicts occur again and again
I hate it cuz it's like a cycle..
it's terrible if u see personal conflicts as group conflicts
and it definitely isn't something entertaining
In times of conflict, i respect the ones who can learn n forgive from each other
and not bragging and behaving as though they are the mature ones

Everyone is learning & growing up
Give everyone & yourself a chance to grow
you will only grow up if you are willing to learn, and not think that you are already matured enough
that's when you've STOP growing... ohwell, just for the time being

Things are getting better between yingbeng and I
and i bet she feels the same too yea? ^^
I've overcome it by voicing out to her
It's a long journey ahead for both of us
we still have got alot to learn from one another as we aged...awww
somehow i feel like giving her a bear hug *grin*
i realize how important true friendships are to me
Meowzhi *grin*
she never fails to make me smile
she makes me brave and cheerful
i really cannot do without this gorilla in my life, oh hooO!
Emotions... uncontrolled whenever i start thinking of my sec schmates
My secondary sch days are undeniably memorable =)

I've still got alot to learn from my new poly classmates
I believe each of us are unique,
and have different perspectives and thoughts on life and yea...LIFE
I enjoy hearing them talking about their dreams
some may be iffy, yet some may be v confident in their future goals and dreams
Be it this or that, we get to share & learn from one another
Yingbeng.. I'm always here for you yea
Fighting!


Saturday, October 22, 2005
好久沒寫日記了
最近在我生活中發生了滿多事情
讓我感嘆卻讓我微笑起來
經過了這幾件事,我見識了更多 體會了更多

人是一個很複雜的物體嗎?
你一定是想問我,我所謂的複雜是什麽吧?
其實大家對複雜都有不同的定義
就是應為這樣,人才會那麽複雜
但你去想一想,要是你能用心的去體會每一個人的感受
那...... 我們人本身就不會那麽複雜了吧?
就不會有那麽多爭吵與不滿了吧?
我覺得最有意義的人生要有
親情
愛情
友情
當然也要有
愛心

辦不到以上的任何一個項目不要緊
最重要的是不要失去
我們要懂得去珍惜周圍環境的人
不要等到失去才後悔 責備自己

或許在一些人的眼裏,我還不成熟,還在成長中
上面所說的或許很幼稚,或者什麽什麽的
但活在地球上的哪個人不在成長了呢?
難道你一把年紀了就有藉口說你已經長大了,
就不需要向其他人學習,吸取人生經驗呢?

守護者你的我...

Thursday, September 08, 2005
近來
我的生活節奏越來越快
快到都喘不過氣
就算給放我一天的假
我的心跳還是那麽的急躁
無法控制
我患有精神分裂症

哈哈哈

Thursday, September 01, 2005
我愛你 愛着你
就像老鼠愛大米


我們又和好了!
哎 這件事反而促進我們彼此倆 ^^

對呀,想着你時
我臉頰上帶着溫馨的笑容 再也不是那憂鬱的面孔了

了解 關懷 信賴 都還在

我終于了解我們之間的關係了
沒有你,世界好黑暗....就像失去了一雙眼
你就像是我的天使 保護,照顧着我
帶我勇敢的.... 据续走遍這個世界
呵呵 笨笨坏坏萬歲!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
就算我們和好
我知道我們之間的密切關係已破碎了
關懷 信賴 了解
這幾個字,已不再我們的詞典

所發生的這一切
是好事,還是壞事呢?
經過這一次的考驗
或許我真的可以學者慢慢放開你的手,離你而去
FLY, 你自由了!
這樣你會更快樂吧?
這些年來我無微不至的給你鼓勵與支持
.... 或許這些能讓你堅強
但可能就因我的過於關心讓你解脫不了你的往事與挫折
這樣我給你的堅強只是暫時性的,卻不是永恒的
對嗎?

我要你快樂.....
可是我爲何一直在爲難你呢?
我爲什麽要向你表白....
還你那麽爲難
我的情緒太激動了
我好任性
真的好任性
這是不可原諒的

Monday, August 22, 2005
原來,一直以來...
我在你心裏一點地位都沒有
這是事實,我非常清楚
但這些年來我都不肯放手
我一直都在追尋招那天的到來
我們在一起好嗎?

說我麻木,說我固執
但是儅你在世上遇見你最深愛的人,你願意放手嗎?
(或許是愛錯,或許我們太早認識彼此了...或許或許)
這都是藉口..... 拿來騗自己,讓自己好些
事實上~ 我們根本就不是一對,就算我付出多少,
我都無法打動你的心,因爲你不愛我呀

但是我們倆現在的處境讓我感到很不安
我們不是情人,不是一般的朋友,也不是你拿來玩的那種女生
那........... 我們到底是怎樣呀?
爲何在我最粹落的時候....... 都是你在我身旁安慰我,鼓勵我
這一刻 :
你察干我的淚,抱抱安慰我
接著便清清的吻在我臉頰上
然後你那關心我的眼神便輕輕的拍拍我的頭,說:你要乖哦,不要笨笨哦
你知道嗎,你那樣更讓我無法忘記你
那一刻我又愛上了你
可是就是那麽巧..... 儅我輕輕拍你的頭說:你要乖哦,不要坏坏哦
過後你就離開我了
我們在也無法見面了
那一晚
我獨自一個人在房裏
就在高雄的最後一夜
感覺好寂寞,好孤獨
我知道我一回到新加坡后,我們的故事就此結束了
真的......... 結束了

你說:你知道嗎,我很多的心事都只跟你說,
而且你是我認識全部人當中最了解我的人
(感动.... 原来我在你心裏是那么重要的)
可是現在想起來....真的是那麽如此嗎?
如果我真的是最了解你的人,爲何我還那麽無理取鬧呢
一直不斷地守護,保護你的我,在哪裏呀?

就因我的無理取鬧,我們失去聯絡了
我真的好想跟你說聲對不起
bbb...i'm so sorry
我們還是要保持聯絡.....好嗎?〉
對不起



Thursday, August 18, 2005
goodbye?
no i cant...
i promise to stay by ur side no matter what happens
but have you broken your promise?
or have i not trust you enough?

i'm sorry...

Sunday, August 14, 2005
did my first L.A on pearline yesterday.
how was it girl?
hope it wasnt too painful for you yea.
Dr. Jeffrey Sng looked stern at first, but hey...he's a funny man after all. I don't feel stress up with him around -when i'm treating pearline.
.
Wonder what we will do next sat
Scenario? Role-play? mmm...
as days goes by...
the nxt step to treating real patients are drawing closer.. and closer..

Tuesday, August 09, 2005
hehehe he is soooo MAN! yingbeng... you should know who i'm refering to right? see... i'm making the effort to look at other guys instead of just HIM HIM HIM. that's good isnt it? shit, i've missed out this year's fireworks. feel so weird not catching it *humhumm*


Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Letting go of Resentment
when you lock yourself into resentment, resistance will occur.
Those who cannot move themselves out of it, will only find themselves locked into revenge,trying to get even. Revenge is sometimes very obvious. eg. such as the person doesnt talk to u anymore, or you accidentally caught her rolling her eyes at you. It's queer,they smile on the outside but behind their back,they say negative stuffs about that person. (it's bad to do so..however it's queer,as everyone happens to do that sometimes.) But u dun gain but suffer from it.
.
It's good to have a taste of resentment in our life..for that we will grow up. However, I'm standing more to the side against having resentment. Cuz the person having such feelings is actually the one in pain. It doesnt benefit you at all...So why put yourself into such a bad situation? we should learnt to take the responsibility for the part we played in creating the problem in the first place,and from there...learn from it. Please dun escape from it... for you will only make tinks worse for you and the othr party. I admit i've the feeling pf resentment lately...i dare admit that my behaviour is somewhat childish. But i've learnt from it and... things are getting better between us^^. i do hope tt everyone can learn from their mistake. dun be sturbborn and feel that you are right all the time. cuz in the end, you are the one losing out... your character doesnt improves,but SORES.
.
To forgive is the highest,most beautiful form of love
In return you will receive untold peace and happiness

Thursday, July 28, 2005
Private Personal Freedom
.
yeap, that's what everyone wants isn't it?
I dun like people to know me too well. why? i dunno.... i just dun like it. I believe everyone keep some secrets to themselves. so as to protect ourselves......so as to keep those sweet and bitter memories to ourselves. Sometimes.. sweet memories seem to be more painful than the latter.
.
It hit and struck me hard on the back whenever i start reminiscing on them. This phrase: "It's REALITY, wake up..." will then encircle upon me, and negative thoughts starts pouring in.. and it's like a heavy storm, showing no willingness to get me back on the grip. Tears came then.. just like the rain, uncontrollable. So is too much of a good thing bad for us? i shouldn't have gone to taiwan to see you... i know this will happen. but on the other hand, the times we had tghr in kaohsiung was really magical..unforgettable. It's as though we are back tghr again during our sec2 life. sigh..
.
STOP...i just have to stop thinking of you. I'm really trying to.. but should i let it go naturally or abruptly? both dun seem to work for me. cuz back to square one.. I JUST CANT LET IT GO. I still cant accept the fact that people come and go in our life. Nooooooooo...they dont. they dont.......
.
What holds you back upon your death bed?
It's our memories that hold us back..
Love is the best gift god has given us, not money nor fame. But people just dont cherish it. so why should we let go?
.
You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving.
Well, then, love your suffering.
Do not resist it, do not flee from it.
It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
.
Mary...
please excuse me from blogging today
Hahaha! Stay tune tmr ^^.
well, dun type my password
it will link u to a lame video clip
dun miss it!

At last! i've done with all my restorative fillings
though i'm not really happy with my own work
not really nice lah..
cuz i want a perfect filling being done
whooOps

yippieeeeee yayeee yaaaAAA!!
my kaohsiung friend is coming to spore soon
i'm so happy, i really miss her soooo muchie!!!!!
where show i bring her to? mmmmmm...

how i wish i'm still in KH now
how i wish i've stayed longer in KH
how i wish i could tell you more when u r around
how i wish time could stop when
we are having fun tghr
but everything is too late
sooo oooooh late
i could recall the day i left KH
my tears just couldn't stop on
the bus trip back to taipei
and it's a 5hr plus trip
can u imagine me crying for 5hours?
after the taiwan trip
i came to realize something
.....that i still have feelings for you
in fact, no one else can replaces you
all the other guys seem so scary to me
knowing them will only hurt me
perhaps it's the bad experience i've had the other time with him
i can't trust any guys anymore
they are so selfish and ignorant of others' feelings

oh well..
i've decided not to make my confession to u
i wanna keep our relationship gg
the way like how it is now
i dun wanna ruin it
but how am i gg to control my feelings for you?

Monday, July 25, 2005

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ummmm..caught this blog entry by
someone whom i do not know
i'm touched by his story..
silly ain't i?
but... he's really very devoted towards his ex
i do hope he'll find the right girl
yes, we need to move on with our life..
but we cant possibly forget our first love
sweet, bitter or sour it is.... (spicy?)
i strongly feel that it's v memorable to me......
.
.
25/7/2005 - Lost Love
.
Last nite, a msg came through to me and i feel the heaviness of my heart. then i realised tat i've always hold her dear and close to my heart. every time i received a msg from her, i'll think of the times we spent together - Sentosa, clubbing, trip to Genting, watching soccer, shopping, supper, movies, reading books lying next to each other, slack at home... 2yrs of our lives. Funny how we always have the selective memories and remember the happy times, and forget the stuff which upsets us then after a long time...

And every time, the image of her leaving my house tat fateful day will juz appear in my mind. where i know tat we're gng nowhere and i finally decided to let her go, let her go in search of her happiness. It was at tat particular moment where all i want is her finding her happiness. I never thot i'll think tat way until tat moment.

And another 2yrs plus have gone by. All it takes is a simple greeting from her, a simple "hello, how are you?" every now and then as a fren, to get me thinkin abt us again. I know tat both of us have changed after we part. At least, i know i've changed a lot.

That phase of my life is one of my best. She is always there for me - providing companionship, advice, emotional support, and most importantly love. I feel balanced then. after she left, i was lost. for the longest time, i was constantly searching for myself, lost. i tried and look for love, but all in the wrong places. i treated gals wrong as well. i admit, i've broke a few hearts in the last 2yrs coz i really dunno wat i want anymore.

Recently, i came to terms with issues. I learnt to embrace solitary. i came to realised tat i can be alone without feeling lonely anymore.
Now i know, i juz wanna be single, and left alone. i've always been in denial tat that breakup hurts me deeply and affected me in a way tat i can't explain myself. i simply ignore it and moved on, bring abt a change in me tat i cannot understand myself. i become confused.

I need tat time to heal myself. i need the time and energy to love myself a little more. else, no matter who i'm with, i'll not be happy coz i'll be constantly searching for "her" in the new gal, which will not be fair.
i know i'll always have her in my heart and i'm very glad to know tat she feels the same abt me.

I'm glad she found her happiness. but i can't help missing her whenever her msgs come thru.

Friday, July 22, 2005
my handphone bill came: $225.15
and it was 6 PAGES LONG!
hahaaa.. it's the longest bill i've ever received
i made the effort to highlight those
impt date & time of my calls/sms to him
am i behaving like a freako? lol
well.. i'm just doing the last bit i could in order
to keep memories of him both in my heart & mind
cuz i just got the feeling that we wun get
to see each other anymore
o
you know..he's the nicest guy i've ever met
in order to kill all the cockcroaches
in the room,he ended up smelling like a cockroach
kill spray can =D
--i think there were more than
10 cockcroaches inside the room!!
yet he didn't mind at all, not at all
and more obstacles for him a few days later
my room was totally drenched after a heavy rain
i was about to clean the whole mess up
and guess what?
he stopped me and did all the cleaning up!!!
now now.. i dun rmbr having any guy fren
who will do that for me
i just do hope that his gal will treat him right
i'll really scream & shout at her if she mistreat him
sigh..i'm gonna miss such a good mate in my life

mmm..
should i continue with my guitar lessons?
cuz i've got the sudden urge to sing & strum
to venge out all my emotions..
and cady is urging me to do so too
why? cuz we wanna set up a band
H A H A H A H A H A H A H A
c'mon yusri,we need you
let's go jamming.. keke^^


Tuesday, July 19, 2005
woohooooOO
gonna start treating patients VERY SOON!!
and my first patient is going to be my very
own fellow classmate: Mastura!!!
hahaha, looking forward to treating her!
hey gal, if u are reading my blog..
plz rmbr to brush n floss well
starting from today ah ^^.
i'll pinch u if i see any swollen gums, hehee

looks like i really need to read up more on
my dh notes before treating any patients
though i've not yet being expose to
working in either the dh/dt dental settings
but somehow.. i just got the feeling
that i'll prefer the dental hygienist job?
mmm... we shall see yea

WOW, wouldn't it be great if there's
dental clinics in old folks' home?
that way they'll have healthy teeth n gums
-to be able to chew & speak well
and they wun be so lonely
with me hearing them out^^.
i wun put my parents in such homes
this place is like nothing else but a jail..
waiting for their death
where's their children?dead?
cmon... u people are so heartless!!
it hurts to see those sad faces
on those cute ahma & ahpeks
i love my mum and dad!! woohoooo
it'll be great if my family & i can live
happily together in Melbourne
yea and we can get to have family chit chatting time,
parties,family outings,pinics.........
and wow.. i bet our garden will have lotsa flowers & plants
cuz my mom is a HUA CHI..hahaha!!
okie.. that's my dream
i hope for a peaceful life
i want my parents to be enjoying their golden days
Mom: Ah mei! looooOOK!!! another sunflower is out! quick get me the camera!!
Papa: mei, i've wipped up a new dish for you- GREEN TEA CRAB! i know you'll like it
H A H A H A H A H A H A H A

WELL ....
it's nice to dream once in a while
do try it. haha!



Monday, July 18, 2005
Typhoon in Taiwan

ohmy.. there's so many disasters in taiwan
esp. kaohsiung
a rather serious flood had also occured
there during June '05
and here comes the typoon
Xiuwen told me that kaohsiung's wind is much
more vicious than the ones in Taipei
**may all my taiwan friends be save and sound
and especially you
sigh.. hope that my letter to you will not be lost during this disaster
you have got to read it
praying hard that you'll be safe and sound
take care

Saturday, July 16, 2005
o
lazy saturday afternoon
lazing around at home
i couldnt even get my feet outta my house
my emotions reached the lowest point this week
i just couldn't control
but i just have to solve this problem of mine
o
don't tell me to let go
i will not..
ya i'm so attached to it
you cant stop me
people dun come and go in our lives
let both of us tell you:
THEY DUN

Tuesday, July 12, 2005
HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY TO LEEWEI!!!
hahaa...his birthday falls on 9th july^^.
here's some pics of his birthday party with his fans
arrghh..i better not miss out his party next time round
you keep me moving in life..thanks mr. old man
you are my role model yea
hahaa

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o
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Saturday, July 09, 2005
i love live performance
esp when they are singing love songs
went to raffles city shopping centre by myself today
yaa..i'm used to going out alone
and there's this A Capella performace by JUZ B
for the IOC meeting is held there
A Capella just reminds me of my choir days
i love singing A Capella
JUZ B sang This I Promise You,
and Halem Yu- qing fei de yi
man... and i cried right on the spot
gosh, i felt so embarrassed
the thought of you..
and i just couldnt control my emotions
there's nothing i can do to stop myself from thinking of you
it's terrible
my heart aches whenever i think of you
i need to be strong
till we meet again bbb..